Becca's Picture

Once Upon a Time

In Cold Blood:

A nonfiction novel by Truman Capote. My English professor at Marian is having us read a true story about a murder. I haven't read a murder book since; well I just don't read them. For the same reason I don't watch shows like CSI. I hate being afraid of evil. When I read a book that allows me to meet a lovely family who I know will be killed in the next 70 pages, I just don't handle it well. They are murdered in Kansas by men who are agree at their happiness. Reading it makes me terrified. I don't breath properly, my bodies lies tense, and I continuously glace out our Family Room door to see if any suspicious men are approaching. I hate being overcome with fear of evil. I don't read this stuff.

Ever since I was little I've had an over active fear senses, but unlike most people mine really haven't lessened. I just don't get scared easily because when I focus on lovely things, and when I abide in Jesus there is no need to fear, but when I dwell wickedness the Devil has a door to enter my mind and mess around. I honestly couldn't walk up the stairs last night until I began to pray out loud and obsessively turn every light on. I had a few panic attaches before safely falling asleep last night, but... I hate books like this.

There is a reason that our Savior instructed us to think about good things, and to renew our minds like Christ Jesus. The material that our minds dwell on becomes our attitude, and emotions. It we dwell on Him, than we will grow in His likeness, and when we dwell on murder novels we become paralyzed and have to remind ourselves of His power. (At least I do.) As far as interesting stories go In Cold Blood is fascinating. I just hate the effect it has on me